An Open Letter to My Mother

nicole kameenui

An Open Letter to My Mother, Diagnosed with Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer

My mother was recently diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer and it has changed my life. The news was broken to me during my 9th month of pregnancy, and I remember crying out after I hung up the phone; I couldn't handle the thought of her not being there when I delivered my second child.  We have always had an up and down relationship, but over the years I have come to understand her. Recently, I shot a brief session of her after the birth of my second child— she wanted pictures done before her hair was gone completely.

I wrote an open letter to my mother that I would love to share with readers who have a similar relationship with their parents who are facing health obstacles.

I cut my hair and kept cutting it short. You would always comment that I had such beautiful Asian hair like yours, and you couldn't understand why I would keep cutting it short. To me, it's just hair but I understand your attachment to your hair, it is part of your identity. Even so, most days you wore it pulled back for work. You'd come home exhausted and leave it a knotted mess just so you could eat and go straight to bed for work the next morning. I loved the weekends because you wore your hair down with bangs fluffed out. I know you enjoyed it too. Tomorrow you are shaving what's left of your hair so that you can focus on your fight and I know it's tough. But I wanted to tell you that you are beautiful. You will always be that beautiful, fiery Vietnamese woman.

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photography and words : nicole kameenui

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