An Update—a Real Update
Hey there. Long time, no talk. It’s been 3 years since I’ve posted anything for B.E Publishing, so I wanted to give you an update.
February is the month that NEDA has deemed Eating Disorders Awareness Week.
Why is that pertinent to this post?
The short of it is, that I finally found out the root of my “autoimmune disease.” It turns out I don’t have an autoimmune disease at all. I have Anorexia Nervosa.
You might recall me talking about my Narcolepsy, and I did have diagnosed Narcolepsy, but the cause of it was actually Anorexia. I had no idea I had an eating disorder. I know that sounds strange. How did I not know I had anorexia? I won’t get into the weeds on that, but apparently, it’s quite common to not know or be in complete denial about an eating disorder—I’m just glad I finally saw a therapist who suspected it. Once I realized what was happening, I went right to work on recovering in April of 2021 and never looked back.
Honestly, I wanted to come back in October 2022. I had this whole grand plan laid out in my head. I’d even gone to New York Bridal Fashion Week as a full-circle type thing as I announced my business at NYBFW in 2019. Unfortunately, I’d been on a weird health trajectory last year (not related to Anorexia), and my body freaked out during that trip. I wasn’t feeling normal really until this past Fall. It’s felt like the longest year+, but I am finally in a place where I feel like I can say I’m fully recovered from Anorexia and feel like a normal, functional human being for the first time since I was in high school.
So, what have I been up to? At the beginning of recovery, a lot of rest. A lot of eating, and a lot of rest, oh, and a lot of Gossip Girl, IYKYK. I set about trying to heal the things I numbed out with Anorexia. I had a lot of therapy and dietitian appointments; I had a lot of doctor’s appointments. I went back to working for Spain Ranch as it was something familiar that I could do on autopilot. I’ve spent a lot of time with my family. We moved my grandfather into my mom’s house, and we started a new game night tradition with our whole family. I’ve gotten to see my teenage brother and nieces usually weekly, and I’m really thankful for time we’re getting to spend together. One of the best parts of Anorexia recovery is finally having the energy to spend much more time with family and friends.
We brought 4 new Scottish Highlands to the Ranch, a new pig, and a new dog, and I spent a lot of time with them. That said, I know the biggest question on your mind is, is Craig still living? Yes! Craig is thriving in his old age of SIXTEEN! I can’t believe it—I don’t think anyone can. He’s pretty much completely deaf and mostly stays by my side curled up while I work from home.
I’ve traveled—yes, of course, to NYC.
I took over a year off of my personal social media account, and way longer on B.E Publishing.
I went to the local plant nursery a LOT.
I opened an Airbnb.
I bought my first legit cowboy hat, and I went to my first rodeo.
I went to a local bookstore every time I’d travel, and I found two of my favorite books of all time through all of the reading I did. The Secret History by Donna Tartt and Still Life With Woodpecker by Tom Robbins.
I celebrated my 10th wedding anniversary in Austin for the US Grand Prix—We went when we were newlyweds, on our 5th year anniversary, and on our 10th.
I finally saw my favorite band in person.
I’ve found activities that I love and don’t feel like I’m dying during every workout anymore. I’ve gone into acrobatics which my former gymnast body loves. Floating/flipping/spinning in the air is where my body feels the most at peace.
I’ve slowly gone back into the world of Interior Design—the degree I graduated with. I finished my first two projects, and am currently working on two more. I’ll be blogging about those here at some point.
I’ve missed B.E Publishing dearly. I’ve missed connecting with you all. I’m not certain right now is the time to come back, so I’m not making any promises. Publishing magazines is still my dream, but who knows where life will take me. For now, I just wanted to give a quick update on my absence.
Talk soon,
B
