As feelings of loneliness creep and mental health takes a slight turn in the wrong direction, I’ve returned to some old feel-good remedies. My special formula? Baking, holiday-themed beverages, cliche (romantic) feel-good movies that will probably leave you in worse condition than you were before you watched, and one-person dance parties to holiday music.

I’m glad it’s not just me—

the only one who feels this heaviness—

this compacted grief,

this sense of hopelessness

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” - Margaret Wolfe Hungerford

No offense to “The Duchess,” but I call bullshit.

Most people harbor the knowledge that stuff is just stuff, and love and family are what matters, but not everyone has such an extreme experience to underline that sentiment. As draining and traumatic as losing all your possessions is, Molly and Tyler seem settled by knowing that all that grand talk is actually true. Who they were before the fire wouldn’t have hoped for it to happen at all, but who they are after is relieved to know that great tragedy is accompanied by great knowledge. Knowledge of how loved they are and how even when they lost everything, people rushed in to replace it and offer help of any kind.

The Leslie Dwight poem that went viral recently hit me like a ton of fucking bricks. You see, perspective has been heavily on my mind since I became pregnant with my son in 2016, and even more in 2020.

I was visiting home in Hong Kong last year, and my mum was making Chinese tea. Tea ceremonies are a hobby she picked up a while ago, and whenever I watch her making tea, it felt like everything slowed. Sometimes, I would sit down with her and wait for the tea to brew, while she would share the technique, history, and philosophy of Chinese tea ceremonies with me.

She is intimacy. She is energy. She is courageous. She might find herself lost but she continues to move forward. She has a purpose to be her and nothing but her.

The news was broken to me during my 9th month of pregnancy, and I remember crying out after I hung up the phone; I couldn't handle the thought of her not being there when I delivered my second child.