Editor’s Note :: Forgoing a typical couple interview, this gallery reminded me of an article from the recently-published B.E Wed Oklahoma. Read on and you will see why.

A favorite memory, a perfect moment, the best day—our memories of specific moments and days are stored and organized based on feelings. A rush of excitement, being overcome with profound peace, or joy so heavy it turns into tears—these are the cultivators and determinators of a favorite memory. Your wedding day will assuredly hold many of your favorite memories and moments, and long after the wedding day passes, you will remember them for how they felt.

Admittedly, I fell in love with the wedding industry because of all the pretty details and a passion for putting on a perfectly-designed celebration. My years in the industry have only deepened my appreciation for everything it takes to create and execute every detail of a beautiful celebration. Still, they have also challenged my idea of what makes a wedding day truly remarkable.

What makes a wedding day truly remarkable? It is not the flowers, the dress, or even the perfect sunset photograph. It is the feeling of being fully present with the love of your life. It is the genuine happiness you experience when you walk back down the aisle as one. It is the sense of peace in knowing that your wedding day truly reflects you as a couple, and the only thing that matters is being married at the end of the day.

These are the feelings that make up a wedding day, and it is these feelings that will remain with you long after it is over.

Have you asked yourself how you want your wedding day to feel? Pause for a moment and consider the three feelings you hope to experience on your wedding day. What are the feelings you came up with? Relaxed? Peaceful? Present? Joyful? Intimate? Now think about what creates those feelings for you. Write them down. From this moment forward, begin to incorporate more of those things, and less of what robs you of them. Do not sacrifice any one of those feelings for any aspect of your wedding. If your goal is to feel relaxed, peaceful, and present, all of your wedding decisions should be rooted in that goal.

Do you each feel anxious in large crowds? Reduce your guest list to what feels comfortable. Does one-on-one time make you feel most peaceful? Work in time for the two of you to spend uninterrupted time together throughout the evening, even if it means less time with guests. Will the worry of communicating with vendors and family members the day rob you of being fully present? Hire a coordinator to do it for you.

The details are still important, and incorporating things you love into your wedding day should be a priority, but only if they are in alignment with the ultimate goal of a day that genuinely feels good. Do not get so busy planning a spectacle for others that you forget to design a day for yourselves. I have heard too many couples reflect on their weddings, wishing they would have worried less about tiny details that did not end up mattering on their wedding day, or just eloped all together because the stress was too much. A wedding day was never meant to result in these feelings after the fact. The day exists because you are marrying the love of your life, and that should feel nothing short of extraordinary. The solution is simple: a shift in focus. Focus on a day that genuinely feels good, not just looks good.